Using the book “The whole brain child” of Daniel J. SiegelTina Payne Bryson, Ms. Victoria – Founder of WeCare presented the 11 main points in the seminar Surviving Tantrums 2.
1. UNDERSTANDING TANTRUMS
When your child is upset:
- CONNECT: loving touch, empathy, validate their feelings, listen, reflect
- REDIRECT child to make amends
2. NAME IT TO TAME IT
- Use story telling to help them understand what is upsetting them + feel more in control.
3. ENGAGE, DON’T ENRAGE
- In high stress situations: keep them thinking and listening rather than just reacting.
4. USE IT OR LOSE IT
- Eg: give choices, practice solving problems with them, practice controlling emotions, build self-understanding, consider other’s feelings.
5. MOVE IT OR LOSE IT
- When kids are reactive, encourage physical activities to shift their emotional state.
6. REWIND AND REMEMBER
- After a difficult event, help them process what happened.
7. REMEMBER AND REMEMBER
- Help kids practice at remembering. Eg: important and valuable moments of their lives.
8. FEELINGS COME AND GO
- Help children understand that negative feelings are temporary.
9. GIVE TOOLS AND STRATEGIES TO CALM THEMSELVES
- Eg: taking calm breaths, visualising a calm place.
10. ENJOY EACH OTHER
- Family fun + enjoyable rituals creates positive memories.
11. CONNECT THROUGH CONFLICT
- Use conflict as an opportunity to teach kids.